Just a loner!

It’s funny how others see me as this inspiring and motivational person who is good at advice and think I am someone who has her life figured out. But deep down, I am just a loner who is looking for somewhere to belong. Having the absence of the closest people I’ve loved, make me realise how lonely I’ve always been throughout my life. Their absence reminds me of the worst reality of my life which I don’t see often. I am just a lonely girl who is struggling to cope with absence of others who mean a lot to me.

Every day, I crave the presence of someone to just remind me for a second that I am not completely lonely. Every day, I try to go to sleep for a while to forget this reality. Every day, I try to daydream of a life where I belong to someone or some place. Home has always been this place where I felt more loved and belonged but I don’t know, it feels so empty now. It feels so meaningless now. Even though I have people around me but I still feel this emptiness. I still feel this loneliness. It makes me sad to see this version of myself who is this weak. I don’t feel like myself anymore.